Helicopter Parenting, or the worst idea since Spock

       I read an article this morning in which I recognized some of the players, well, metaphorically at least. Read the article and then come back....

        http://vitals.nbcnews.com/_news/2013/05/26/18469581-helping-or-hovering-when-helicopter-parenting-backfires?lite&ocid=msnhp&pos=3


    Yes, I recognize these parents. I have some every year in my classes. Yes, you read that right, in my classes. Physically they may not be in the classroom but with the electronic age they are as palpable a presence as their child who sits in front of me every day during 4th period. It's hard to say which is worse, the detached, completely remote parent, "Uh, I had my kid sign the grade sheet you sent home because I was busy", or the mom who sends me around 3 e-mails a day on average.
It's really too bad that kids don't arrive with a badly written users manual like the lawnmower. Of course, humans are complicated, and in all fairness, kids come in a variety of personalities, as do their parents but I think there are a few basics that will pretty much apply in most cases. I wrote a blog in
Nov. 2004 that covers those basics    http://theteacherslounge.blogspot.com/2004_11_01_archive.html

    Here are some of this year's examples.   At the beginning of the year I met with Carol's parent on the Registration Day. She would be in my AP World History class. First semester did not go too well. Carol did not do assignments, failed most tests and I think I may have heard 3 words out of her the whole the semester which was a bathroom request. As the semester came to a close I suggested that she consider moving to the on-level class. After a few conferences with the parents, (Carol decided to not show up just to tweak her Dad) and too many e-mails to count we came to the week of final exams and Carol's grade was borderline passing. Mom e-mailed me several times a day. At first I wrote back fairly detailed answers to her questions about every assignment. I had to explain every step of the asssignment so mom could be sure it was done correctly or that Carol had in fact turned it in (which meant stopping whatever I was doing to go through the stack of papers and see if Carol's was there) but when I wrote back that "Yes, it was there" I would get an immediate response asking for the grade. Ok., I graded it and sent the grade, then another response, "Did it improve her overall grade?" and on and on. My responses became shorter and more curt. Within an hour of the completeion of the final exam there was an e-mail wanting  to know if Carol had passed the semester.
At this point I bacame positively blunt. I have 140 students whose exams and essays must be graded. That will take time and although I plan to grade things while on the plane to see my family over Christmas, I don't have to have grades in until Jan. 4 and that's when I will know the answer. You'll know when I know. Over and out. That did it for the moment. Carol managed to just squeak through and I was relieved when her schedule showed that she had dropped AP World History....until she walked into my 4th period on-level classroom. It was on like Donkey Kong again. Personally, I think that Carol is exasperated with her parent's meddling. The more they try to micro-manage her assignments the more she seems to "forget" to turn it in. In one e-mail her mom complained that the assignment wasn't turned in because Carol was out sick and didn't know where to pick up the assignment. I pointed out that the extra hand-outs box is about 5 inches from her head in the classroom. She was supposed to take an essay portion of the test recently and chose to hide-out in the bathroom the whole period. She is the poster child for passive-aggressive.  
         The other example is a Senior who was repeating World History 2nd semester in order to graduate. My guess is that Shaneka's IQ is hovering around 70. Throughout the entire semester she never once raised her hand, never answered a question directed to her and could not write any cohesive, understandable paragraph. Within two weeks of joining the class I was writing to her counselor and then to her parents asking if there was a learning disability. Did not hear back from the parents until an e-mail I wrote at the 12 weeks mark with a subject line of "PLEASE READ THIS E-MAIL". Her grade was 52% at that point. I am keenly aware that failing a senior gets you all kinds of unwanted attention so I wanted to be sure to document, document, document. Now, with only 6 weeks to go, mom gets involved. She sends Shaneka in for extra help. Shaneka sits quietly in front of me waiting for me to pour knowledge into her ears or give her some coloring project to do for extra points. I patiently re-explain how to do an essay that was ungradeable the first time she did it. A couple of weeks later Shaneka comes in and asks what she can do to improve her grade (I can hear her mom's voice in the request). I ask about the essay. Blank look. I explain it again. We do this a total of THREE times. Each time-"What can I do to improve my grade", "The essay we discussed earlier and re-take some quizzes". Then a few weeks later we replay the scene. Finally Mom comes bustling in for a face-to-face conference with three weeks left of the semester. I give her the typed TO-DO list that I had Shaneka sign the previous week so there would be no question about what would be required. She asks lots of questions so she will understand the assignment. Next week, she shows up, without an appointment, and wants to know what else she could do because these assignments are not going to get her enough points. I tell her that the Road Trips would have helped but now we are two weeks before the end of school and all recovery projects, by school policy, must be in by the coming Friday. Interestingly, Shaneka is not in school the next day and on the following day turns in two beautifully typed Road Trip assignments. This adds 50 points to each of two tests that she made a 20% on. Now she is at 70% but we still have the final exam to go which counts for 15% of the grade. Mom is e-mailing me every day, questioning every point on every assignment through the semester. On the morning of the exam I am busy and don't have time to check my phone until lunch when I see four missed calls from Shaneka's mom and have one voice-mail that is unintelligible for the wailing to please call with the final grade.  Shaneka's grade was 46% on the final and her overall grade was 67.75%. I decided that failing high school for 2 1/2 points was not doing her any favors. Her life will be low level, minimal wage jobs and she will never need essay skills again. I pass her with a 70. Mom sends me 6 roses that afternoon. I heard from colleagues that when Shaneka walked across the stage at graduation her family went wild with screams and applause.
         I think it is very difficult to parent a child. To know when to help and when to put your hands in your pockets. I also think that some parents wait until it's too late to put their hands in their pockets, like the parents in the article above, and their child is going to find it rough to act independently when she leaves the nest, no matter how confident she seems now. I don't think I was the prefect parent, but I think we tried to encourage our kids to advocate for themselves at a fairly young age. "I need ketchup for my fries!"..."Well, go ask for some." "I can't, I'm scared"..."Then learn to enjoy your fries without the ketchup"....

Teacher Evaluations-Something evil this way comes

Everybody knows that the American educational system has problems. In fact, everybody thinks there is a simple solution although no one agrees on what that might be- more money, better training for teachers, less students in the classroom, mainstreaming/inclusion of special needs kids, leaving the arts in schools, taking the arts out of school so there is more time for the basics, and on and on. Of course, there is the camp that believes wholeheartedly in standards. If we have standards that every teacher must teach then there will be consistency and therefore we will produce a better product. If you ask teachers they will usually lean towards the need for fewer dysfunctional families, or parents that are more involved or kids without cellphones. Of course, there is the crowd that have gieven up trying to regulate cell phones and want to welcome them into the classroom with open arms. The old "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" philosophy so the theory is that if we utilize the phones to some good  purpose like on the spot research or online quizzes with Socrative that the phones will become less of an attractive nuisance or method of rebellion for teens. The truth, of course, is messy. It is not a one-fix problem and not every school is going to find the magic key that fixes everything. Although there are many strategies that will have positive impacts in many schools, in others they may fall flat or even have some detrimental effects. Just like students, effective approaches to educating America's youth will need to be tailor-fit to the school, teacher and student.

Some of the factors that I feel have had the worst results in the students I have taught over the years are societal ills such as divorce, workaholic parents, less community involvement in raising "our" children and the effects of a society wallowing in an absurd obsession with violence, sex and "reality" that includes staging human conflict for entertainment ("Survivor"," Big Brother", "The Bachelor" "Dance Moms" or "Toddlers and Tiaras" just to name a few). Parent conferences have all the preparation angst of a state dinner. Where can we place the two bilogical, divorced parents so they are supportively near their child but not too close to the new spouse? I 've had to arrange two conferences just to keep warring parents apart and believe me, by the end of them I'm wondering how the student is holding up in school at all with all the battling going on over their head!

Now, I realize that there are plenty of lousy teachers out there and a great many of them should have been eliminated long before they had a chance to screw up a generation of students. I can appreciate that teacher evaluation is probably at the top of most people's short list for school/education improvement. It's a bit more complicated than most people think. All doctors get M.D. licenses but all doctors are not equal. One less than accomplished, but certified, doctor almost killed my mom two years ago. I know, I know, a bad teacher isn't going to kill a student (well, probably not) but they can do some pretty serious emotional damage, not to mention throwing a wrench in the child's progress along the educational trail.  Which brings me to the point...good teachers have a certain "X" factor, an instinctive nose for what their students need in order to be engaged and on task. It's hard to teach that in colleges and impossible to demand by administrative directive. You can look at standardized test scores, but those results are not solely the result (or responsibility) of a single teacher. You could look at grades but, of course, I control the grades that my students earn so that's not a measure of my ability. The best they have come up with is the administrative observation. So a teacher's effectiveness is based on a subjective observation for a couple of short periods each year. Not surprisingly, the new observation tool calls for documentation that the teacher provides to meet.....wait for it....the STANDARDS for being a good teacher. Now, I certainly think it is reasonable to ask a teacher to show that they are making plans for their students learning in advance rather than winging it. And it is reasonable to ask a teacher to show or explain how they make accomodations for the individual characters in their classes, however, the new evaluation model introduced this year is designed so that many really good teachers can't possibly achieve the incredibly detailed requirements (especially in a the short observation period) and even a relatively unimaginative teacher who happens to be a detail person could create lesson plans that are jam-packed with educational jargon and elaborate details catering to every unique individual in their classes. Is that who you want teaching your kids? "Go away, kid, I'm busy with these lesson plans! GRRR".  I had a meeting today with two younger male teachers who are freaking out trying to do the impossible. They are trying to create lesson plans that are designed for every aspect of teaching and every type of student. One of them handed me a three ring binder packed with about 30 pages of plans, justifications, differentiation, worksheets and assessments. It was a 1 1/2  inch binder. The plans inside covered four days! FOUR days of teaching plans!  It had taken him 11 hours to prepare. So, during those 11 hours did he get anything graded? copied? parent e-mails answered? play with his own small children?  This is a man who is scared to death that he will lose his job if he doesn't have these minutely detailed plans on his desk. This is a talented teacher who is exceptionally talented with technology in the classroom. I told them both that they would never be able to keep up this level of detail in a lesson plan. They will kill themselves trying to do the impossible. I myself earned two Needs Improvement ratings under this new system because I still scribble my plan in an old-fashioned green grade book. I know what I have to cover, I know my students and I know what works with them and what doesn't. I make adjustments every year for things that didn't work the way I wanted them to and for new ideas that I come across during the year. Does that really make me not Proficient ?
        It would be nice if we could bottle that indescrible, non-transferable, skill of the really good teachers but we can't. You can pair them with novice teachers who may pick up some good techniques or plans but the reality is, a good teacher has intrinsic qualities that make them a good teacher. More money will not make them better teachers, nor will more demands for them to write down every plan they make.

The "L" and "C" words you never say to a parent

     First, let me say that this is a happy ending...sort of.
      I learned years ago as a teacher that you will live a lot longer if you never use the terms "lie" or "cheat" to a parent about their  child. Many, if not most, parents believe wholeheartedly that their child will not tell them a direct bold-faced lie and that although their child might leave his socks on the floor he will not cheat because they have spent every Sabbath consistently taking their child to temple/church/mosque which has innoculated their child against the moral failure of cheating.

      Now, to the point of this blog. Like most high schools, my school has an Honor Code published in the the Student Handbook and re-published dutifully by every teacher in their syllabus which is mindlessly signed by every parent and sent back to school to be filed away just in case... One would think that the tenets of the Honor Code are pretty clear and straightforward. Don't copy someone else's work and don't give them yours. Cite all sources on reports, don't forge your parent's name on  report cards. If you do  one of these things the HONOR CODE VIOLATION will be applied and will ruin any hope you ever had of getting into HVAC school, Harvard or running for public office. Still, last week I found that the similarity ratingfrom Turnitin.com on the final exam portfolio for a handful of my AP students was 57% or higher. Two of them were 95% or more! We had expected some similarity in that the students would proabably just cut and paste all the questions for the portfolio so we set 40% as the generous allowance for similarity. The vast majority came in a 1-5%. Considering that I discovered this on the day before the last day of school I had to fire off a bunch of e-mails to students to tell them to get their rear ends in to see me on the last day of school for an explanation. It was easy for me to tell whose paper was identical. That is one of the benefits of using Turnitin. Even if it wasn't my student, it allowed me to send a request to the other teacher to see the paper for comparison purposes. Since there are only two of us teaching this course, it was easy to narrow down the possibilities.

     So why would a bunch of bright, talented AP students feel the need to cheat on a final exam project? The reasons varied, "I was helping a friend who was having a hard time with it", "We thought if each of us did a portion and then exchanged the information, it was collaboration, not cheating", to the one girl who said she just ran out of time and asked a friend in the other teacher's class to send her his project, and he did without a moment's hesitation. She simply uploaded his entire project with her name on it. I was actually stunned that when confronted with the blazing red text (Turnitin highlights all the identical text in different colors for each source copied) they did not attempt to lie, they just told me the truth. When it dawned on them that this was the dreaded HONOR CODE VIOLATION and would result in a zero grade that represents 15% of their overall grade for the course, needless to say, my floor was washed in tears on Friday...both from boys as well as girls. All begged for forgiveness, allow them to re-do the project etc. etc. I made them wait all through the week-end for an answer. I told them I was going to the administration for a ruling but there would definitely be a parent-teacher-student-adminstrator meeting in the week after school let out. I would like to think that over the week-end there were more tears and bargaining with God, Allah and Yahweh for deliverance.

     On Monday I called or e-mailed all the parents requesting a meeting on Tuesday with myself and an administrator. I knew this would amp up the tension a bit, not necessarily a bad thing. Now, before you criticize this strategy let me interject that last year many of these same students were involved in a cheating activity where they created a Facebook page, posted an essay that every student copied and printed out and turned in for an English assignment. The teacher issued Honor Code violations but the county rescinded all them after a parent outcry saying that perhaps the teacher hadn't been clear that this was an independent assignment!

     So, on Tuesday I set up my computer and opened the door. Each interview went the same way-I explained to the student and parent how Turnitin works and that Turnitin is used in nearly all the colleges. I showed them their paper and how it turned completely red in the parts that were identical to someone else's paper. I showed them how I knew who they got the paper from and that even if their cousin in India had turned in an identical paper that I would be able to see that too. All thoughts of arguing or making a case dropped dead on the floor. Then I pulled out the Honor Code with my extended explanations and examples on the bottom and reviewed it thoroughly with the student. The student would sign the explanation acknowledging that they had been given an opportunity to thoroughly understand all parts of the Honor Code. This paper will be in their permanent file for the next two years they spend in the high school. If EVER an Honor Code violation is suspected in the next two years the administrator will pull out this signed acknowledgment and the Honor Code violation will go into the computer to be recorded on transcripts going to colleges. If nothing happens regarding Honor Code violations in the next two years, the paper will be thrown away when they walk across the stage at graduation.

      As for the grade, I had already entered a zero grade for the final exam. For some this took them from a B to a failing grade for the semester. For others they went from an A to a C, a fate worse than death to an AP student. However, I offered them an opportunity to do an alternative assignment and turn it in over the summer. I would grade it and then submit a grade change form. The only thing colleges ask for is a final transcript, not report cards so the  current grade is only temporary.

      Some people would think they got off easy. I think they were, for the most part genuinely shaken and perhaps the lesson was learned. If I had brought the full punishment down it would have been too big of a hit for a sophomore who is still making "age-appropriate misbehaviors".

    What do you think?

Some things never change...

Looking back at past blogs I'm not surprised but a bit maudlin that I have not seen any changes in the school system regarding the identification of students who need assistance. I have about 20 e-mails saved in an electronic folder about a student I have had for only 4 weeks but have only actually seen for 7 days in class, total. I know there are identified disabilities but cannot seem to shake loose anything from the counseling/administration. No IEP, SST or 504. It really makes a teacher lose it when we traipse to endless meetings designed to teach us how to "differentiate" and create "value-added curriculum" but I can't get any interest from them in a student I have repeatedly asked about who DOES need some help. And my student who has an SST? Not one meeting or guidance other than an e-mail saying "priority seating, use of agenda and help sessions." O.K., done, now what?
I sent an e-mail about this continuing frustration to my department chair and ended my e-mail with a note that I was not expecting anything to be done, but when the emergency "SST documentation" request comes in at the end of the semester, I will probably go postal!

The Yin and Yang of technology today

I have been pondering for a while on the global, societal changes that have accompanied the explosion of communication technology in the last few years. It's the harbinger of life in the 21st century. Technology has always forced humans to make societal changes. Usually we are running to keep our ethics up with our technology. I have sometimes posed the question to students about our love affair with the cell phone...even though we can't imagine NOT having a cell phone, what about the numbers of fatal accidents that have occurred because of our addictive use of the cellphone? This summer there was a tragic train accident related to an engineer text messaging while in control of a speeding train. There are literally thousands of vehicle accidents caused by inattention due to cell phone use. Teenagers are the worst culprits without the maturity to recognize the potential danger of inattention and with inexperience to successfully react when the danger presents itself.
Another societal problem that has attracted recent media coverage is cyber-bullying. With the anonymity of text messaging, instant messaging, e-mails and social networking sites, youngsters are not safe anywhere from the viciousness of their peers. "Sexting" has become every paerents nightmare and a minefield for legal action. Probably 99.9 % of my students have cell phones and even though they are not usually using them for nefarious purposes they are unable to wean themselves off the cell phones during the school day. For many, this results in lower attention, thus lower school performance not to mention the issue of academic honesty. One of my students this past year was hovering on the brink of passing or failing and needed at least a 70 on the final exam to pass the semester and thus avoid repeating the semester in summer school. During the exam I noticed the student repeatedly looking down and to the side away from me. Then I saw the cell phone flashing. The student got a zero for the exam and failed for the semester. Since this particular student often resorted to using the cell phone to snap pictures of notes and other material I could only assume that the cell phone was the 21st century version of the notes written on a student's hand under their sleeve.
Now, I'm not saying that cell phones are evil incarnate. Their usefulness has been proven over and over again to call in emergency services. I myself have felt some comfort in knowing that my teen-age children had a cell phone to use if they found themselves in an awkward or dangerous situation. The camera function has really been helpful in capturing everything from a potential purchase for a family member to spur-of-the-moment once in a lifetime snaps of my grand-daughter. However, even though cell phones have been around for at least a decade as an ubiquitous assessory I have yet to sit in a movie or meeting and not hear one ringing as an unwelcome disruption. Why can't we get our behaviours on a par with the wonderful technology we have achieved?
I used to think that YouTube was the height of self-admiration and the most useless collection of people doing stupid things, or their children doing stupid things, or their PETS doing stupid things. I stand corrected. I am glad to say that I discovered a plethora of superb short clips that I can use in my World History class and most are from very credible sources like the History Channel. However, I have also found some wonderful clips of Japanese drummers and Irish dancers. I have been delighted to find some informative clips of other teachers using techniques in class that I'd like to try. YouTube has also done it's part in allowing people to share poignant moments such as a child's first jump off the swimming pool diving board or their tribute to a fallen hero whether it be a soldier or Michael Jackson.
But this isn't all about the issues of cell phones in school. This summer when the election took place in Iran and the Iranian government tried to squash the voice of the irate Iranians who felt the election had been fraudulently skewed in favor of Ahmadinejad, Twitter and Facebook prevented the veil from falling over the events in Iran. Although the election results still stand I believe that the people of Iran have been empowered. They KNOW their own government tried to keep them from sharing the people's feelings amongst themselves and with the world. They will continue to agitate for democratic reform and personal liberty. In this age of Twitter, Facebook and YouTube we will never again have governments that can commit genocide in secret like Stalin or Pol Pot. Revolutions against oppression such as Tianenmen Square will be out there for the world to observe. Politicians need to be keenly aware of the cell phone camera when slipping off to Argentina to rendezvous with a mistress, and law enforcement officers should maintain professionalism when arresting a citizen in case a video camera held by a passer-by captures a brutal, unnecessary assault.
As always, our ethics and social conventions need to adjust to the ever increasing eye we have on the world.

Point to ponder...

Yesterday was a teacher workday. No, let me correct that, some of it was work time but at least half, as usual was "meeting time". We all grumble as we trudge to the cafeteria for the obligatory faculty meeting and then trudge to a classroom for a department meeting. Usually the department meetings at least have the potential to be more interesting because teachers usually feel freer to bitch about whatever is bothering them (for example the faculty meeting :) ) and because the announcements are usually more relevant. However, some of our time had to be dedicated to our "book club" meeting. The new administration required that all teachers read a book about educational leadership and have regular book club meetings about it. I think I am safe in saying that no-one read any more than the one chapter they were assigned to present to the group. And at each meeting there was no mistaking the "sorry, guys, they are making me do it" look on the presenting teacher's face.But I will say that one thing came out of yesterday's book discussion that I think is worth pondering.
The presenters posed the question "if you could do anything you wanted to motivate achievement in students, what would it be?" No money or rule restrictions, just an open brainstorming session. One idea that had been floated before was raised again. Meredith re-iterated the idea that if responsibility = privileges then if the school allowed increased privileges when a student showed responsibility and the student would lose those privileges with a lack of responsibility that we might be able to increase performance and reduce behavioral concerns.
Interesting concept. So let's say a student has no behavioral record for conduct or unexcused absences would be allowed to leave the campus for lunch. Wow! We already have a program in place for allowing seniors to exempt final exams if their grade is high enough and they have a reduced number of absences. Or possibly study hall for students with a grade below 75, free time in the computer lab or even outdoors for those whose grades are B's or above. Parking spaces are already tied to performance. I think there is a real possibility to motivate the vast number of students here. Of course, there are those who will not be moved no matter what carrot you put in front of them, but we may at least make that number smaller. Worth thinking about.

My "Priceless" list- with apologies to MasterCard

Watching those MasterCard commercials that look at the costs of some things and then describe the ultimate result as "Priceless" I was prompted to think of the things, besides obviously my family, that are priceless to me... So,here they are...in no particular order.

1. The book of Valentine poems I've written for my husband over the past 34 years that chronicle all the ups and downs of my married life.
2. All of the incredible amount of details that I've managed to collect on the family geneaology over the past 30 years that are kept in the antique steamer trunk. It has been a labor of love and I can only hope I will live long enough to write a narrative that puts it together into something readable.
3. My occasional opportunities to sit and watch the nature going about their everyday existence in my back yard. It is soothing and puts all the problems in my world into perspective.
4. Seeing the look of surprise on children's (and sometimes adults!) faces when I show them the goodies baking inside the Dutch oven on the hearth at Smith Plantation.
5. The predictable patterns of life that reassure me such as the daily phone calls when I'm driving home from my husband, setting the holiday table at my mother and dad's house where the china and crystal are like old friends, the chimney swifts whose nestlings in my chimney every year drown out my favorite t.v. shows, and the Christmas ornaments I unwrap that evoke memories of family vacations and momentous events. There are so many that glue together the fabric of my life.

Sometimes someone will ask,"If the house catches on fire, what would be the one thing, besides your family, that you would save?" Well, maybe the Valentine book, everything else is already with me.